In the overall theme of the behavior traffic light, the purpose of the green light is to cultivate the perception that we have a choice throughout many important parts of daily living. Adults use green light words to convey freedom of choice. When a person is using the green light in their behavior traffic light, healthy, safe and happy effects are predictable. Children need to become accustomed to what is in the green zone.
Healthy green light examples:

• “Feel free to go to your friend’s house when your homework is done.”
• “You’re welcome to watch television when the chores are done.”
• “I’ll be glad to give you a snack once the laundry is put away.”

The above examples show how to phrase green light communication so that your request sounds as much like choice as possible. It helps children to see how behavior choices are ever-present. Green and red light words show us how we share control through choices. Adults who use “No” because of a particular reason (based on controlling power) can provoke a negative reaction in children. Rather, help adults can find a way to say “no” by saying “YES” under conditions.

Red light: No (The adult has all the control)
Green light: Yes (The adult shares the control with when/then statements)

Red Light Words
No you can’t go to the ball game because your room is a disaster!
You can’t have dessert because you didn’t eat all of your dinner.
You won’t be going to your friend’s house because you didn’t do all your chores.
 
Green Light Words
You are welcome to go to the ball game when your room is clean.
When you finish all your dinner then you can have dessert.
Feel free to go to your friend’s house when all your chores are done.

The interesting thing about green light words and cultivating child followership: compound interest! Just like a savings account rewards for depositing new funds, children are like a bank. They build up resiliency and the ability to cope with stress when they are used to using their green light. If adults are consistent in offering acceptable options to problem solving, children will follow along expecting that they, too, can figure things out

As summer approaches and our children are drawn outside into the sunshine once again, protecting our children from sunburn is key. Now more than ever, sun protection matters. Episodic sunburns during childhood and adolescence have been shown to increase the lifetime risk of melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer. In addition, sunburns hurt! Three ways to help your children avoid sunburn include sun avoidance, protective clothing and sunscreen. Try the tips below!

Sun avoidance

• Avoid or minimize sun exposure between 10 am and 4 pm when the sun’s rays are hottest.
• Be careful when the child is near water, sand, snow or concrete since these can reflect the sun and cause sunburn.
• The risk of sunburn during certain activities, such as water sports, is high.
• Clouds are not sufficiently protective against sunburn since the sun’s rays on a cloudy day may only be reduced by 20% to 40%.
• Seeking shade is somewhat helpful, but a child can still sunburn because light is scattered and reflected.

Protective clothing

• Clothes offer the simplest, and often most practical, sun protection.
• Tight weave clothing lets in less sunlight than a looser weave.
• Clothes that cover more of the body provide better protection.
• Consider dressing children in lightweight long pants and long-sleeved shirts if sunburns are possible.
• Rash guards or swimming clothes that cover the arms and chest can be helpful when children are playing in or near the water.
• Hats with bills or a 3 inch brim can be cooler and more comfortable than a bare head in the summer and can help shield the face, ears, neck and eyes.
• Don’t forget sunglasses!

Sunscreen

For children and teens:

• Sunscreen should be used any time a child spends time outdoors.
• Use sunscreen for sun protection, not as a reason to stay in the sun longer.
• Choose a sunscreen that states broad spectrum with a SPF of at least 15; SPFs of 15-30 work for most children, but 50 can be a good choice for a fair skinned child or infant. SPFs 70-100 do not likely offer any greater protection than 50.
• Use enough sunscreen to cover all exposed areas – especially the face, nose, ears, feet, hands and even backs of the knees. Each application should be 2 ounces of sunscreen (2 tablespoons) or more! Rub it in well!
• Apply sunscreen 15-30 minutes before the child goes out into the sun to allow time for the sunscreen to absorb.
• Reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember that no sunscreen is waterproof or sweat-proof –reapply after a child swims, sweats or uses a towel.
• Lip balm with sunscreen will help protect a child’s lips from sunburn

For babies:

• Ideally, infants younger than 6 months should be kept out of direct sunlight.
• Infants should be dressed in cool, comfortable clothing with a tight weave and wear hats with brims.
• Babies do not sweat as well as big kids, so exposure to the heat of the sun may increase the risk of heatstroke and dehydration.
• Sunburn may occur easily because infant skin has less pigment than at any other time in life.
• Apply sunscreen on small areas, if needed.

In the overall theme of the behavior traffic light, the purpose of the yellow light is to help children understand that many important parts of life need to be thoroughly considered. Adults use yellow light words to send a message of “slow down.” When a person is using the yellow light in their behavior traffic light, he or she are aware, resilient and self-directed – healthy, safe and happy effects are predictable. Children need to become accustomed to life in the yellow zone.
Most of the thinking, feeling, and doing in life happens in the yellow zone. It is the opposite of the automobile traffic light. The signal moves from an extended green, to a brief yellow, with another transition to a long red. The yellow light highlights staying engaged by staying calm.

Healthy yellow light examples:

• “Ohhh…how do we sit on the chair?”
• “Hmmm…what is the rule when using the tablet?”
• “Yeah, that’s frustrating. What are you going to do?”

The above examples how to phrase yellow light communication so that it sounds as if you are sending the powerful message of “You can figure this out.” Notice that each of the phrases could have a slightly drawn out pace and a sing-song tone. These are also considered “strategic questions” – purposeful ways of stating a question so that it engages motivation. These types of techniques help reduce the possibility of a perceived threat that would start a fight, flight, or freeze response. But neither is it a simple matter of figuring out the obvious action in the situation. Yellow light emphasizes the “slow down” process so that children can focus on problem solving.

As a parent, you can role model this process by verbalizing your yellow light. When approaching a task, list three possible options to completing the task. Then, list the consequence of that option. Finally, discuss the decision you would make on the best-fit consequence. Over and over, children can be exposed to cause-and-effect, weighing of consequences, accurate perception of time, moral development, empathy, reasoning skills and more! Those “what if” scenarios help children internalize important life lessons.

Using the yellow light means a person is purposefully checking what is happening in his or her thoughts. The person is checking the facts and challenging him or herself for accurate perceptions and helpful conclusions. The person becomes aware of his or her feelings – like a thermometer reading, a person checks the intensity and determines whether he or she can cope. Yellow light also signals a review of the menu of actions that could accompany the thinking and feeling. These all work together and slowing down helps ensure that the person is completely reviewing all options.
Red lights are quick, “Stop!” Green lights are quick, “Go!” Yellow lights tell us, “Slow: proceed with caution.” All three are important for the development of happy, healthy and safe children.

According to the 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, you need to do two types of physical activity each week to improve your health – aerobic and muscle-strengthening. Adults need at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity per week and strength-training activities on two days of the week. With summer upon us, in order to avoid heat related illness, it is important to follow safety guidelines while exercising in the heat.

Avoid exercising during the hottest part of the day from 10 am – 3 pm. The risk of heat exhaustion rises as the heat index climbs above 90.
Drink water before, during and after your workout. According to the American College of Sports Medicine, you should drink 4 – 16 ounces of fluids every 15 – 20 minutes during your workout. If you are working out more than an hour, you may need to hydrate with an electrolyte solution. Drink water often, even if you don’t feel thirsty, to avoid heat exhaustion.

Wear sunscreen and exercise in the shade if possible.

Wear light-colored, breathable clothing. You may want to wear clothing that actually wicks the moisture (sweat) away from your skin which can help make you more comfortable. Sweating is the body’s way of regulating your temperature. If you or someone else should stop sweating while exercising in the heat, experience nausea or vomiting, feel light headed or dizzy, seek immediate medical attention as you may be experiencing a heat stroke.

If you suspect someone is having a heat stroke – which is a life threatening condition – move the individual to a shady place if possible, and you may want to remove some clothing to make them feel relaxed. Pouring cold water on the person’s body may help in reducing heat. If you have water or electrolyte fluid on hand, get him or her to drink what they can as long as they are conscious.

By following the suggested guidelines you can still exercise safely in the summer months. So why not exercise first thing in the morning for safety’s sake and have the rest of the day to yourself?

Relaxation skills are vital for good mental health. For children, it's important that they learn to master these skills at a young age. Not only is practicing these skills important, but the long term benefits help children build resiliency to face challenges. The ability to stay calm during a stressful situation is a lifelong effort.

Several railroad tracks roam like rivers in southwest Missouri. Many times throughout each day, I hear a distant whistle or rumbling along the tracks. As a practical measure, I try to use that noise as a cue to stop, take a mental rest and listen during one of those opportunities. I am also one to sit at the guard gates and actually rest as the train rolls by. In my porch rocking chair, I close my eyes and focus on the sounds. Once, I wondered how beneficial “listening for the train” might become for my young grand-daughter. 

She was not aware of the sound when I first introduced it – which is precisely the point! I wanted to bring it into her awareness and help her utilize the new experience as a possible relaxation technique. I began by reading books that included trains, with an emphasis on the sound of a train whistle. Then, while we were outside, it was inevitable that we would soon hear the sound of the train. A whispered “Listen!” sparked her curiosity. In rhythm with the train’s whistle, I would say train and make my own whistle noise – the one she was familiar with. Soon, she began to say the word “train,” too.

We continued this exercise often with smiles, some caring physical touch and shared emotions – from curiosity, to joy when it’s time to “listen” and gratitude for the chance. The books were still relevant, but I noticed she was looking for more details than the pictures. Rather, we moved towards actual experiences to reinforce the relaxation benefits of listening for the train. At home, we would stop and cuddle in a sitting position when either one of us would call attention to a “train” during our time together. Our typical routine included a few conscious, deep breaths. In the car, she could see the big machines as we passed by and would experiment with her own whistle sounds to represent the train. Other times, we made sure to wave and thank the trains for being our friends.

These relaxation skills can be simple in technique, but powerful in the benefits they provide. The simplicity helps to maximize an ordinary opportunity to purposely calm down. Children and parents alike face stressors in daily life – build the capacity to find solutions by investing during the relaxed moments.

Hydration is gaining attention. We are learning water has so much to do with effective electrical and chemical processes in the body. For instance, our brains central nervous systems rely on healthy neurons to send messages about thinking, feeling and doing. Cortisol, or stress hormones, can deplete the body of necessary sodium. In addition, too much stress impairs sleep and sets off another bodily-health domino effect. Sufficient amounts of water are vital to helping govern those nerve impulses. Drinking water can become not only a game, but a way to get some relaxation time in! Here are some ideas:

How long can you hold it? Children love doable challenges such as this challenge. Children simply take turns over the course of a few minutes by drinking small amounts of water and holding it on the tongue. The slow, purposeful effort helps activate parts of the brain that use the activity to reinforce awareness and managed effort. Don’t forget to follow the short spurts with the “celebration” of drinking the whole cup! An exercise such as this helps get more water in the body as well as handling frustration.

Silly, silly. Having the name brand silly straw or a simple plain straw is irrelevant during this technique. Remember, these ideas are really about encouraging drinking water and using water to help learn calming techniques. Preparation may begin by marking specific points along the straw – four or five marks are plenty. Then have the child go through various challenges to see if he or she can suck the water up to the specific point the adult calls out, and hold it there. Once the child can hold it there for a count of three, they can swallow. This process repeats over and over until the water is gone. Two or three minutes will be plenty of time for calm. Don’t forget to follow the short spurts with the “celebration” of drinking the whole cup!

Chill out. When making ice cubes, place little bits of fruit or other healthy treats in the water. As the child takes drinks from the cup with the special melting ice, the fruit will slowly be released into the mix. It will serve as the treat for completing the drink. Interestingly, children will often “chase” the ice cube with the treat in it. The secondary benefit of this water drinking technique is reinforcing sustaining attention to detail. What does the brain get for this effort? A treat and feel-good, calming hormones in the brain.

Be your own hero. Special colored and character decorated water bottles can be enticing to purchase as a way for a child to feel happy about drinking water. However, strategically noticing the favored and “hero” characters on existing cups and bottles can serve as a lead into turning the attention to the child. Using an existing cup or bottle in the home, decorate it as the child’s own hero cup. You can decorate inexpensive cups or left over water bottles which are recyclable and then easily replaced with the newer model. Reinforce drinking amounts of water by cheering “The 32 ounce hero!” or “The 32 ounce explorer!” Through this activity, the child gets the double benefit of drinking the water and conducting a creative project, which helps the mind relax.

I recently received a reminder that life doesn’t always follow the plans we make. I was recently diagnosed with cervical radiculopathy. Cervical radiculopathy, as defined by WebMD, is the damage or disturbance of nerve function that results when one of the nerve roots near the cervical vertebrae is compressed. Damage to nerve roots in the cervical area can cause pain and the loss of sensation along the nerve's pathway into the arm and hand, depending on where the damaged roots are located.

Fortunately, I can be treated with physical therapy instead of surgery at this time. However, I planned to train this summer to complete a century (100 mile) bike ride in August with a group of women. Unfortunately, due to my diagnosis, that goal will have to be put on hold. So, if you are also sidelined, try these ideas this summer (with your physician’s permission) to stay healthy and fit while you recover.

• Walk briskly for 30 minutes, three to five days a week
• Visit the farmers market weekly and fix a meal using a fruit or vegetable you haven’t tried before
• Consume at least 64 ounces of water daily, and more as temperatures rise above 90 degrees
• Stretch major muscle groups at least two to three times a week
• Meditate daily and reflect on your blessings
• Volunteer to help at a summer event and cheer on the participants

Remember: you may be facing or have faced a challenge in the past, but you are not defeated. Allow yourself time to recover, set new goals and rise above the challenge. Wishing you a safe and relaxing summer!

Sometimes when we become injured, we still have symptoms months down the road even if we have allowed time for healing. This is a very common issue that can happen when nerves around an injury become irritated. At this point, it’s no longer the original injured tissues that need to heal, but rather the surrounding nerves. Ask anyone who has ever had sciatica (pain radiating from the buttock down the back of the leg) – it can seem to take forever to heal! Why is this? Unlike other injured tissues in the body, nerves can often be stubborn and difficult to calm down. Knowing what nerves need for healing is important for understanding how to treat many injuries that linger. 

A common misconception is that if something hurts, you should stretch it. When it comes to nerve-related pain, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The nerves in the human body are estimated to take up 2% of your total body mass. To function properly, these nerves require 20-25% of the total volume of blood your heart pumps. You can think of nerves as blood sponges – they need a lot of blood! When you stretch a nerve, you take away the blood flow, and nerves tend to get irritated when this happens. 

For example, one common injury that takes a long time to heal is a hamstring strain. When you look at an anatomy picture depicting the muscles on the back of the thigh, you see the different portions of the hamstring muscles and the sciatic nerve that runs right down the center. What do people typically do after they strain a hamstring? They stretch. If you overstretch the hamstring, you also take away blood flow from the sciatic nerve. Nerves like blood the same way that humans like food. Take away someone’s food and the person may get slightly irritated. The same holds true for the sciatic nerve when you take away blood. The number-one thing that nerves need for healing is blood flow. 

Nerves also need to be able to move freely to heal. Think of nerves like dental floss – they need to be able to slide and glide easily through surrounding tissues. In the case of muscle strains, scar tissue commonly forms to promote healing. If the scar tissue interferes with movement of the surrounding nerves, they will be prone to irritation. This is often what happens in the case of nagging hamstring injuries that linger for months. 

What is the best way to help nerves get both the movement and blood flow they need for healing? “Tissue flossing” is a technique that we use a lot in physical therapy. This involves using your hands or a massage tool to “pin down” injured tissues while actively gliding and lengthening the underlying tissues you are pinning. This serves to both break up scar tissue and improve the slide and glide of underlying tissues. Working on these things can help restore nerves back to their “pre-irritated” state and help rid the body of injuries that just don’t want to go away.

Reading can be a powerful source of relaxation or stress. While the opportunity can create shared smiles, caring touch and emotion, the process is a work-in-progress for some children. For example, caregivers may expect children to sit compliantly and in a state of awe. The caregiver may prefer reading books from front to back. The child may, however, prefer turn to a favorite page or want to go back and forth. There is no right or wrong way to read a book; the key is to use the time together to co-create relaxation. In other words, it’s not just the actual book, page or images that have the potential to reinforce relaxation skills. The main factor is the relational give and take with the caring adult that can provide leadership to a calm state of mind.

Book review ahead. Look for books that facilitate relaxation moments. Stories that reaffirm acceptance, belonging and significance are obvious choices. However, gauge how your child may respond with a book’s title, theme, pace, illustration style and particular wording. If children have had an uncertain or disappointing history with adults, the emotional intensity should be lower key so as to not overstimulate them because the purpose is to practice relaxation. Try these ideas:

Start with topics that are interesting, but not “busy”. Unless the child is already accustomed to managing behavior during reading, aim first to captivate his or her interest.

Check out parts of a book before actually reading. Look at front and back covers. Discuss some of the characters or places in the book.

Sometimes going through the first time, turning pages and slowly creasing them down as you move through the book can be calming.

Be carefree and have fun while reading. Use inflection, pauses, eye contact and even physical sensations. Change voices for different characters, and you coudl even bounce the knee as the story tells of riding a horse. Find the rhythm. Notice the catch phrases. What meaning does the story have?

Incorporate quips or elements from the story in everyday interactions. Of course “I think I can; I think I can” is a phrase that can be spoken when the book is not open at the moment. Rhymes and cadence can help a child learn to activate the pleasantness in experienced in stories into other areas of life. For example, from the Foot Book by Dr. Seuss, a caregiver can use a phrase to help put on shoes in the morning in a less stressful manner: “Left foot, left foot, left foot, right!” might be just the timing to help with patience to get shoes on in the mornings!

Shiny pages. Magazine subscriptions or junk mail can be valuable. Roaming through the pages and identifying objects, how they may be used and what a child would like to imagine with the pictures and words is helpful to releasing cortisol-suppressing feel-good hormones. Perhaps looking a contiguous two-page picture of the mountains, beach or forest is a good imaginary exercise as well. “I wonder” conversations help a child gain a sense of control about stepping into the future and new possibilities. In the calm of spontaneous exploration, a child can begin to trust the process of discovery without fear of the unwelcomed surprise.

Wordless. A new niche in some children’s books is the element of only illustrations. The purpose is to spur imagination for the story. In addition, the plot is slowly released. Children learn what it is and what might be. The ability to focus in the now, but also anticipate what is coming next is a combination of feeling secure about the now so that with the caregiver we can go into something new. With the distinct presence of the adult, a child can learn to manage tensions in a safe, non-threatening exercise.

Writing your own story. Children grow in their awareness of their life story. Stages along the way of their chapter building, adults can using existing props to help a child narrate their current steps. Much like a scrap book or multi-media conglomeration, a child may use the ongoing contributions to be reflective of their development. However, adults can also write their own story and share it with children. It fosters a sense of distance – both near and far. In particular, this relaxation technique helps build enduring skills for not only hot spots, but allows a child and their adult to rest in the security of a shared life story. 

There is something magical about the effects of music. It enhances our creative expression. This factor is important because some children lose their creative refueling due to trauma or challenges.

Encouraging creative expression through music can help facilitate relaxation. Sometimes, vibrant moves with an air guitar can help release the tension of anger. A slow brush sweep in movement with a particular instrument can dissipate tight feelings when contemplating a decision. A rapid set of dance moves can provoke belly laughter as well as a challenge between left foot and right!

Try these tips to help encourage relaxation through listening to music:

Choose instrumental music. Without words to convey a particular sentiment for the moment, children can enter the musical space and project their own interpretation of the music based on what they need at that time. They can find the humor, sorrow, frustration or confusion in the music – and in themselves. Instrumental music does not verbally suggest the emotion. However, use your discretion when choosing music – consider the pace and pulse of the music. Much like selecting books, a good fit between need and supply is the purpose of this activity. Children benefit from listening to instrumental music by getting the opportunity to determine the meaning of the music.

Listen to current, popular music. Children need their peers to help encourage them to live up to their potential. Children want to follow the supportive leaders in place – including leaders among their peers. Therefore, some of the music in the public environments can be an opportunity to join with others in musical expression. These benefits may not be so obvious to a child, especially an adolescent. Yet, radio and other popular music events in childhood often lead to shared sentiments in a community. Music of this kind can be used for creative expression.

Try a variety of genres. For relaxation purposes, explore music genres with a specific set of criteria to determine the pros and cons of particular pieces of music within genres. For example, children who are sad may be best served with easy listening music. Children can also get good physical activity while dancing along to an upbeat song. Certain musical compositions can work well at bedtime to soothe fears and lift dreams onto clouds. Again, review all choices and find the best-fit selections for your child.