Relaxation skills are vital for good mental health. For children, it's important that they learn to master these skills at a young age. Not only is practicing these skills important, but the long term benefits help children build resiliency to face challenges. The ability to stay calm during a stressful situation is a lifelong effort.

Several railroad tracks roam like rivers in southwest Missouri. Many times throughout each day, I hear a distant whistle or rumbling along the tracks. As a practical measure, I try to use that noise as a cue to stop, take a mental rest and listen during one of those opportunities. I am also one to sit at the guard gates and actually rest as the train rolls by. In my porch rocking chair, I close my eyes and focus on the sounds. Once, I wondered how beneficial “listening for the train” might become for my young grand-daughter. 

She was not aware of the sound when I first introduced it – which is precisely the point! I wanted to bring it into her awareness and help her utilize the new experience as a possible relaxation technique. I began by reading books that included trains, with an emphasis on the sound of a train whistle. Then, while we were outside, it was inevitable that we would soon hear the sound of the train. A whispered “Listen!” sparked her curiosity. In rhythm with the train’s whistle, I would say train and make my own whistle noise – the one she was familiar with. Soon, she began to say the word “train,” too.

We continued this exercise often with smiles, some caring physical touch and shared emotions – from curiosity, to joy when it’s time to “listen” and gratitude for the chance. The books were still relevant, but I noticed she was looking for more details than the pictures. Rather, we moved towards actual experiences to reinforce the relaxation benefits of listening for the train. At home, we would stop and cuddle in a sitting position when either one of us would call attention to a “train” during our time together. Our typical routine included a few conscious, deep breaths. In the car, she could see the big machines as we passed by and would experiment with her own whistle sounds to represent the train. Other times, we made sure to wave and thank the trains for being our friends.

These relaxation skills can be simple in technique, but powerful in the benefits they provide. The simplicity helps to maximize an ordinary opportunity to purposely calm down. Children and parents alike face stressors in daily life – build the capacity to find solutions by investing during the relaxed moments.

Hydration is gaining attention. We are learning water has so much to do with effective electrical and chemical processes in the body. For instance, our brains central nervous systems rely on healthy neurons to send messages about thinking, feeling and doing. Cortisol, or stress hormones, can deplete the body of necessary sodium. In addition, too much stress impairs sleep and sets off another bodily-health domino effect. Sufficient amounts of water are vital to helping govern those nerve impulses. Drinking water can become not only a game, but a way to get some relaxation time in! Here are some ideas:

How long can you hold it? Children love doable challenges such as this challenge. Children simply take turns over the course of a few minutes by drinking small amounts of water and holding it on the tongue. The slow, purposeful effort helps activate parts of the brain that use the activity to reinforce awareness and managed effort. Don’t forget to follow the short spurts with the “celebration” of drinking the whole cup! An exercise such as this helps get more water in the body as well as handling frustration.

Silly, silly. Having the name brand silly straw or a simple plain straw is irrelevant during this technique. Remember, these ideas are really about encouraging drinking water and using water to help learn calming techniques. Preparation may begin by marking specific points along the straw – four or five marks are plenty. Then have the child go through various challenges to see if he or she can suck the water up to the specific point the adult calls out, and hold it there. Once the child can hold it there for a count of three, they can swallow. This process repeats over and over until the water is gone. Two or three minutes will be plenty of time for calm. Don’t forget to follow the short spurts with the “celebration” of drinking the whole cup!

Chill out. When making ice cubes, place little bits of fruit or other healthy treats in the water. As the child takes drinks from the cup with the special melting ice, the fruit will slowly be released into the mix. It will serve as the treat for completing the drink. Interestingly, children will often “chase” the ice cube with the treat in it. The secondary benefit of this water drinking technique is reinforcing sustaining attention to detail. What does the brain get for this effort? A treat and feel-good, calming hormones in the brain.

Be your own hero. Special colored and character decorated water bottles can be enticing to purchase as a way for a child to feel happy about drinking water. However, strategically noticing the favored and “hero” characters on existing cups and bottles can serve as a lead into turning the attention to the child. Using an existing cup or bottle in the home, decorate it as the child’s own hero cup. You can decorate inexpensive cups or left over water bottles which are recyclable and then easily replaced with the newer model. Reinforce drinking amounts of water by cheering “The 32 ounce hero!” or “The 32 ounce explorer!” Through this activity, the child gets the double benefit of drinking the water and conducting a creative project, which helps the mind relax.

I recently received a reminder that life doesn’t always follow the plans we make. I was recently diagnosed with cervical radiculopathy. Cervical radiculopathy, as defined by WebMD, is the damage or disturbance of nerve function that results when one of the nerve roots near the cervical vertebrae is compressed. Damage to nerve roots in the cervical area can cause pain and the loss of sensation along the nerve's pathway into the arm and hand, depending on where the damaged roots are located.

Fortunately, I can be treated with physical therapy instead of surgery at this time. However, I planned to train this summer to complete a century (100 mile) bike ride in August with a group of women. Unfortunately, due to my diagnosis, that goal will have to be put on hold. So, if you are also sidelined, try these ideas this summer (with your physician’s permission) to stay healthy and fit while you recover.

• Walk briskly for 30 minutes, three to five days a week
• Visit the farmers market weekly and fix a meal using a fruit or vegetable you haven’t tried before
• Consume at least 64 ounces of water daily, and more as temperatures rise above 90 degrees
• Stretch major muscle groups at least two to three times a week
• Meditate daily and reflect on your blessings
• Volunteer to help at a summer event and cheer on the participants

Remember: you may be facing or have faced a challenge in the past, but you are not defeated. Allow yourself time to recover, set new goals and rise above the challenge. Wishing you a safe and relaxing summer!

Sometimes when we become injured, we still have symptoms months down the road even if we have allowed time for healing. This is a very common issue that can happen when nerves around an injury become irritated. At this point, it’s no longer the original injured tissues that need to heal, but rather the surrounding nerves. Ask anyone who has ever had sciatica (pain radiating from the buttock down the back of the leg) – it can seem to take forever to heal! Why is this? Unlike other injured tissues in the body, nerves can often be stubborn and difficult to calm down. Knowing what nerves need for healing is important for understanding how to treat many injuries that linger. 

A common misconception is that if something hurts, you should stretch it. When it comes to nerve-related pain, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The nerves in the human body are estimated to take up 2% of your total body mass. To function properly, these nerves require 20-25% of the total volume of blood your heart pumps. You can think of nerves as blood sponges – they need a lot of blood! When you stretch a nerve, you take away the blood flow, and nerves tend to get irritated when this happens. 

For example, one common injury that takes a long time to heal is a hamstring strain. When you look at an anatomy picture depicting the muscles on the back of the thigh, you see the different portions of the hamstring muscles and the sciatic nerve that runs right down the center. What do people typically do after they strain a hamstring? They stretch. If you overstretch the hamstring, you also take away blood flow from the sciatic nerve. Nerves like blood the same way that humans like food. Take away someone’s food and the person may get slightly irritated. The same holds true for the sciatic nerve when you take away blood. The number-one thing that nerves need for healing is blood flow. 

Nerves also need to be able to move freely to heal. Think of nerves like dental floss – they need to be able to slide and glide easily through surrounding tissues. In the case of muscle strains, scar tissue commonly forms to promote healing. If the scar tissue interferes with movement of the surrounding nerves, they will be prone to irritation. This is often what happens in the case of nagging hamstring injuries that linger for months. 

What is the best way to help nerves get both the movement and blood flow they need for healing? “Tissue flossing” is a technique that we use a lot in physical therapy. This involves using your hands or a massage tool to “pin down” injured tissues while actively gliding and lengthening the underlying tissues you are pinning. This serves to both break up scar tissue and improve the slide and glide of underlying tissues. Working on these things can help restore nerves back to their “pre-irritated” state and help rid the body of injuries that just don’t want to go away.

Reading can be a powerful source of relaxation or stress. While the opportunity can create shared smiles, caring touch and emotion, the process is a work-in-progress for some children. For example, caregivers may expect children to sit compliantly and in a state of awe. The caregiver may prefer reading books from front to back. The child may, however, prefer turn to a favorite page or want to go back and forth. There is no right or wrong way to read a book; the key is to use the time together to co-create relaxation. In other words, it’s not just the actual book, page or images that have the potential to reinforce relaxation skills. The main factor is the relational give and take with the caring adult that can provide leadership to a calm state of mind.

Book review ahead. Look for books that facilitate relaxation moments. Stories that reaffirm acceptance, belonging and significance are obvious choices. However, gauge how your child may respond with a book’s title, theme, pace, illustration style and particular wording. If children have had an uncertain or disappointing history with adults, the emotional intensity should be lower key so as to not overstimulate them because the purpose is to practice relaxation. Try these ideas:

Start with topics that are interesting, but not “busy”. Unless the child is already accustomed to managing behavior during reading, aim first to captivate his or her interest.

Check out parts of a book before actually reading. Look at front and back covers. Discuss some of the characters or places in the book.

Sometimes going through the first time, turning pages and slowly creasing them down as you move through the book can be calming.

Be carefree and have fun while reading. Use inflection, pauses, eye contact and even physical sensations. Change voices for different characters, and you coudl even bounce the knee as the story tells of riding a horse. Find the rhythm. Notice the catch phrases. What meaning does the story have?

Incorporate quips or elements from the story in everyday interactions. Of course “I think I can; I think I can” is a phrase that can be spoken when the book is not open at the moment. Rhymes and cadence can help a child learn to activate the pleasantness in experienced in stories into other areas of life. For example, from the Foot Book by Dr. Seuss, a caregiver can use a phrase to help put on shoes in the morning in a less stressful manner: “Left foot, left foot, left foot, right!” might be just the timing to help with patience to get shoes on in the mornings!

Shiny pages. Magazine subscriptions or junk mail can be valuable. Roaming through the pages and identifying objects, how they may be used and what a child would like to imagine with the pictures and words is helpful to releasing cortisol-suppressing feel-good hormones. Perhaps looking a contiguous two-page picture of the mountains, beach or forest is a good imaginary exercise as well. “I wonder” conversations help a child gain a sense of control about stepping into the future and new possibilities. In the calm of spontaneous exploration, a child can begin to trust the process of discovery without fear of the unwelcomed surprise.

Wordless. A new niche in some children’s books is the element of only illustrations. The purpose is to spur imagination for the story. In addition, the plot is slowly released. Children learn what it is and what might be. The ability to focus in the now, but also anticipate what is coming next is a combination of feeling secure about the now so that with the caregiver we can go into something new. With the distinct presence of the adult, a child can learn to manage tensions in a safe, non-threatening exercise.

Writing your own story. Children grow in their awareness of their life story. Stages along the way of their chapter building, adults can using existing props to help a child narrate their current steps. Much like a scrap book or multi-media conglomeration, a child may use the ongoing contributions to be reflective of their development. However, adults can also write their own story and share it with children. It fosters a sense of distance – both near and far. In particular, this relaxation technique helps build enduring skills for not only hot spots, but allows a child and their adult to rest in the security of a shared life story. 

There is something magical about the effects of music. It enhances our creative expression. This factor is important because some children lose their creative refueling due to trauma or challenges.

Encouraging creative expression through music can help facilitate relaxation. Sometimes, vibrant moves with an air guitar can help release the tension of anger. A slow brush sweep in movement with a particular instrument can dissipate tight feelings when contemplating a decision. A rapid set of dance moves can provoke belly laughter as well as a challenge between left foot and right!

Try these tips to help encourage relaxation through listening to music:

Choose instrumental music. Without words to convey a particular sentiment for the moment, children can enter the musical space and project their own interpretation of the music based on what they need at that time. They can find the humor, sorrow, frustration or confusion in the music – and in themselves. Instrumental music does not verbally suggest the emotion. However, use your discretion when choosing music – consider the pace and pulse of the music. Much like selecting books, a good fit between need and supply is the purpose of this activity. Children benefit from listening to instrumental music by getting the opportunity to determine the meaning of the music.

Listen to current, popular music. Children need their peers to help encourage them to live up to their potential. Children want to follow the supportive leaders in place – including leaders among their peers. Therefore, some of the music in the public environments can be an opportunity to join with others in musical expression. These benefits may not be so obvious to a child, especially an adolescent. Yet, radio and other popular music events in childhood often lead to shared sentiments in a community. Music of this kind can be used for creative expression.

Try a variety of genres. For relaxation purposes, explore music genres with a specific set of criteria to determine the pros and cons of particular pieces of music within genres. For example, children who are sad may be best served with easy listening music. Children can also get good physical activity while dancing along to an upbeat song. Certain musical compositions can work well at bedtime to soothe fears and lift dreams onto clouds. Again, review all choices and find the best-fit selections for your child.

“If you live to be 100, I hope to live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.” – Winnie the Pooh

What are your thoughts on living to be 100? I would like to live to be 100, as long as I am healthy and independent. Most of us do not wish to have poor health as we age or have to be dependent on our families for daily needs. You may be wondering how you can live independently to 100. Studies suggest that only about 25% of how long people live is determined by genetics; the other 75% is determined by lifestyle and daily choices. 

In searching for the secrets of those who have lived a long and healthy life, many centenarians (people who are 100 or more years old) share the same behaviors, habits and personal traits. As you read through the list, if you aren’t already practicing one of these tips, you might consider making it part of your healthy lifestyle. Many centenarians:

• Eat a mainly plant-based diet that consists of legumes, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds.
• Lead an active lifestyle. Engage in regular low intensity physical activity on a daily basis such as walking, working in the garden, chopping wood, mowing the lawn with a push mower and raking leaves.
• Do not smoke.
• Have a clear goal in life – a purpose or reason to get up each day. Continue to learn and educate yourself throughout your life.
• Belong to a strong religious community. The act of worship is a habit that can provide more good years. 
• Have a rich social network of family and friends, which provides opportunity to slow down and can act as a stress reliever. 

Hopefully this information will provide you with food for thought on changes you could make to add years to your life. You have nothing to lose – only time to gain. If you would like more information, bluezones.com can provide additional information on living longer. Here’s to good health for all! 

Most babies will breastfeed until 18 months to 2 years, if allowed to self-wean. There are a few developmental stages at 2 – 4 months and again at 8 – 10 months which where new parents might get the perception that baby doesn’t want to nurse anymore. Around 2 – 4 months, babies discover they are separate from their mother and their vision improves, allowing them to discover other things that can distract them during a feeding session. They are also awake for longer periods at a time. Babies have difficulty multitasking – nursing and watching what is going on around them at the same time. Another time of easy distractibility occurs at 8 – 10 months. Babies at this age may pull off the breast and re-latch several times during a feeding session. 

The breastfeeding session can be a challenge to keep baby at breast long enough to accomplish a feeding. Limiting the distractions can help. Try going to a dark quiet room to breastfeed or try breastfeeding baby when he or she is sleepier. If baby is “too busy” to nurse enough during the day, try offering the breast more often at night or during nap times for a while. Spending more time doing skin to skin exposure or wearing baby in a sling can also help “remind” baby to nurse more often. If baby pulls away, but does not unlatch, be ready to break suction with a finger to prevent damage to the nipple. 

I hope this advice will help you with this potentially frustrating period of breastfeeding so you can continue the nursing relationship until both of you are ready to wean.

For assistance with breastfeeding or questions feel free to contact the Freeman Lactation Office at 417.347.1067.

You may have heard in the news that sitting is the new smoking, as far as an increase in health risks goes. Many of us do a lot of sitting throughout the day – commuting to and from work, sitting at a desk all day and/or sitting on the couch at home. Prolonged sitting can take years off your life. Dr. James Levine, Director of the Mayo Clinic-Arizona State University Obesity Solutions Initiative, studied the adverse effects of our increasingly sedentary lifestyles for years and summed up his findings in two sentences: “Sitting is more dangerous than smoking, kills more people than HIV and is more treacherous than parachuting. We are sitting ourselves to death. “ 

Sitting shortens lives by increasing the risk of obesity, type 2 diabetes, certain types of cancer and heart disease. In addition, exercising later in the day unfortunately doesn’t necessarily undo the negative effects of prolonged sitting. 

You may be wondering what you can do to take some of those years of your life back. Try these tips:

• When possible, opt to climb the stairs instead of taking the elevator
• Walk to your coworker’s desk instead of sending an email or making a phone call
• Plan a walking meeting
• Stretch for a few minutes every few hours
• Wear a pedometer and set a goal of walking 10,000 steps each day
• Take a 10-minute walk break instead of checking your cell phone or personal email

Try one of the above suggestions for three weeks, or until it becomes a lifestyle change. Then, pick another habit and try it for three weeks. Invite your coworkers to do this as well. As you know, being accountable to others for your behavior makes it more likely that the habit will stick. 

Think happy; think healthy!

When you need to cool down, a wading pool just won’t do! The pool metaphor refers to adults in children’s lives, i.e. adults are pools full of sources to share, or provide resources, to children. Compassion satisfaction occurs when a child-serving person’s pool is full, meaning that there is a healthy work-life balance and giving and receiving are integrated while serving. Water coming out of the pool is similar to an adult having positive feelings associated with giving. Water being added to the pool is similar to adults having the input of colleagues, training and/or inspiration. During compassion satisfaction, there is constant water motion.

Often, child-serving adults are aware of their meaningful contributions to children’s lives and the future of society. These adults experience compassion satisfaction when they anticipate and accept the inevitable personal changes that result from doing the important work. And it’s good work! The life of the helper transforms as the lives of others improve. The energy flow that results from helping others can invigorate these adults. Therefore, a person with compassion satisfaction has the confidence to know that he or she makes a difference, looks forward to finding new solutions, feels successful and wants to continue serving. It’s like an internal water hose into the swimming pool that sustains respect and encourages human resiliency. When satisfied helping professionals invest in people, they also invest in themselves!

Compassion satisfaction occurs when water flowing in and out of the pool is in proportion. Water going out may be in the form of effective, time-tested and well-crafted techniques delivered authentically by the helper. Even when the child’s behavior can be challenging, an adult can trust these methods:

• Staying calm
• Not taking things personally
• Tuning into the function of the behavior
• Role-modeling appropriate behavior
• Instructing and building for the child’s future behavior

Consistently using effective techniques builds momentum and confidence, like a hose adding water to the pool. At the compassion satisfaction point along the continuum, the helper invites the swim.

However, without the purposeful movement of water going in and out, the water level of the pool may be full, but stagnant. This point on the continuum is often burnout. Since we are talking about water, some folks also refer to this stage as rust out. Like a pond that has no river feeding it or stream to carry water away, undesirable things can begin to grow inside the stale pool. In other words, the pool is growing slimy green algae instead of being crisp and clean. 

When burnout occurs due to unhappiness in the work itself, it can feel like you don’t have enough resources to get important work done. Burnout could be caused by environment, such as unpleasant noises or sights or space restrictions. Staleness could be due to the repetitive nature of the work, such as similar scenarios, same routines or low rates of effectiveness in change efforts. Burnout can also occur when you feel little connection with others, which may stunt enthusiasm for doing important work helping others. At this point, there is little to no water (resource) movement. Frustration can lead to preoccupation. Mistakes can become more frequent. Therefore, distractions increase while motivations decrease. At the burnout point along the continuum, the helper avoids the swim.

Prevention and intervention strategies for burnout include:

• Use time-tested techniques
• Remember why you do what you do
• Check in with encouraging people who do similar important work
• Take time for self-care
• Have a friend to help track equal in and out flows
• Create flexibility in times/places/cases in which you serve
• Engage regularly in training and/or educational opportunities
• Keep track of the stories that inspire you